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Slight bump in the road

July 9, 2013

SO we hit a little bump in the road on Sunday night. Things were going well with dad; he was up and about, he was in good spirits and was feeling ok. While he was still on morphine, the pain was starting to slowly subside. Things were going well. A few of his friends from work came past to see him and they had a nice chat with dad, so all in all he was doing well. Mum and I settled down, mum with her knitting, me with my studies while dad took a nap. Then all of a sudden he starts shaking and saying that he was cold. We put some blankets on him but shaking wouldn’t stop, so we called the nurse and she came in to check his temperature – turns out his temp was high, so we took all the blankets off. The shaking got worse, which is expected because he was cold but it turned into full body shaking to the point where his body was almost convulsing. I didn’t worry too much about this but mum and I stood around him trying to keep him calm. Mum started praying over him – now one thing I will say about my mum is that she would fit right into a Gospel church in Texas as she is very vocal and loud with her faith; you hear a lot of “amen”, “thank you Jesus” from her regardless of where she is. So when she started to pray, the ward my dad is in went silent because she was praying so loudly and passionately. I’m pretty sure they heard her in the corridors. Bless her little heart. While mum and I prayed for him, I noticed he was starting to zone out, which at first I thought was good, but then he got a really vacant look in his eyes. That’s the only way I could explain it. He started slurring his speech and he started looking at us in a really odd way. I tried to talk to him but he wouldn’t look at me, so I started asking him questions. He wouldn’t answer. The nurses came in, checked him and told us his temp was getting higher and they were paging the doctor. I tried talking to dad but again, he wouldn’t look at me, so I asked him if he knew who I was (not sure why I asked that) and he didn’t know. At this point, I’m trying not to freak out otherwise mum would freak out, so I asked him if he knew my name and he just stared at me with a blank look on his face. He looked at mum and she asked if he knew who she was and he said yes but couldn’t tell her what her name was. I asked again “dad, do you know my name? Another blank look and then “Yes. You’re Jennifer” Who the frik is Jennifer?? At this point, I internally started freaking out. My mind went into over-drive and all the worst-case scenarios entered my head. (On a side note, I’m very proud of the fact that my face did not reflect my mind and I managed to keep a very calm exterior). I know that a high temp can make you delusional but I didn’t think it would make you forget people. The thought of my dad not knowing who we were was heartbreaking and petrifying. I stood behind the curtain for a minute to get my head together and pray madly while mum and the nurses tried to hold dad down because he was getting very restless and kept trying to stand up. We finally managed to calm him down and get him settled, and about 15 mins later, he started coming back to us. I was ready to unplug his machines when I asked him if he knew who I was and he looked at me very seriously and said “no…….booboo” and smiled (Booboo is my nickname at home). Dad was making jokes at inappropriate times, which meant dad was back.

We all settled a little but when I looked at dad and he had a look of absolute fear in his eyes – he knew something had gone on but didn’t know what. I think he must have had a black spot in his mind because he kept asking us what happened and if he said anything. He was getting a little worked up trying to figure out what happened but we finally got him calmed down. Once his temperature came down, he went to sleep and we went home (they allowed us to stay past the visiting hours). We tried calling the hospital a few times to see how he was but each time we called the nurse wasn’t around. We were about to try again and dad beat us to it – he called to say he was doing ok and was heading down to X-ray. Thank you Lord. I don’t recall being that frightened, thinking that dad had lost his memory scared the heck out of me. But all is good. Time to refocus on the positives – he’s cancer free, won’t be needing chemo, and, will more than likely come home in a couple of weeks, so I’m grateful for that.

I spent the morning with him yesterday and spent the morning with him today. I took him for a walk outside today which he enjoyed, we chatted for a bit then I took him back up and settled him into bed. Mum is with him at the hospital tonight while I stay home and get some rest because I’ve woken up with a head cold and am very lethargic. I’ve been struggling to get through the day and I don’t want to spend too much time with dad and give him my cold, so I agreed to stay home and go pick mum up later. I keep telling myself  I’m going to attempt to get some study done but I’m not sure how that will go as my head and eyes are killing me as I type this up – chances are I’ll curl up on the couch and snooze until I need to pick up mum. In any case, i can’t afford to get sick at the moment, so I think it may be time to overload myself with vitamins I think. And chocolate. Lots of chocolate.

God bless xx  

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