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And so it is…

May 28, 2013

For the most part, I’m quick to share exciting and happy news with people. My daily gratitude project is a times an exapmle of this and one of the forums I use to share things. When it comes to challenging situations, I tend to internalise things and deal with it quitely. I know most people are like me and hold back sharing difficult situations, and it’s making me realise this isn’t always the best way to deal with things. There is a few reasons for me holding back but the 2 main reason are; my first reaction in all things is to pray and take my strength from God; the second is I tend to not want to burden others with it. My close friends and family are the exception to this but at times I even hold back from them.

Over the last few weeks it’s be on my heart to ‘be real and raw’. So I’ve started sharing some of my challenges at different times and have found that in most cases, someone will come to me privately and tell me they felt encouraged by my situation because they realised they weren’t ‘the only one’. So it’s for this reason that I’m going to be sharing my current challenge and making an online dairy in the form of this blog.

So here goes….a couple of weeks ago my dad was diagnosed with stomach cancer. This is dad’s second bout of cancer (last time was prostate cancer). When we were told he had cancer it wasn’t really a surprise as he had been having a few health dramas and I had a feeling it was going to be cancer. I think for that reason I took in the news pretty well – it was still in it’s early stages and the doctor said he wouldn’t need chemo, just surgery to remove it, a few weeks recovery and all would be well. So for the last weeks I’ve been pretty positive about it, keeping things positive and normal at home. Yesterday we went to the doctor and found out it was a little worse than we thought. Dad would need chemo and surgery. Dad would have a long recovery. I took that in ok but when we walked out my dad looked at me and said ‘I can’t handle chemo. I can’t do chemo’. He then started to cry. We stood in the carpark hugging each other while he cried and while I prayed for him. I was still ok. I took them to lunch and spoke to my brother….I was a little emotional but still ok. I called my boss and it hit me then. I started to cry. I might add I’m crying silently while I’m typing this at Maccas. I have been emotional about it since but trying to be strong aroud mum and dad.

Over the next few weeks dad will get more tests done and will then start his treatment. We’re not sure yet if he will have chemo pre/post op, but we will find out soon. I will be sharing as we go through the steps of treatment and I will promise to be real. The reason I wanted to share this is while I know there are plenty of cancersupport pages out, they can be imperssonal, so I’m hoping this will help people who may be quietly going through the same situation, or those that know someone who is going through a similar situation. I’m also hoping it will also be a form of therapy for me.

For now, I’m having faith that the Lord will get us through this and come out better for it. Until then, I’m going to keep praying and leaning on my faith,family and friends to help me through.


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